Secret Weight Loss Strategy from the Pros

Well Diary today was an interesting day. Or let's just cut the junk and call it what it is....STRESSFUL! I personally welcome stress as it leads to successful weight loss. Stress speeds up your hear rate thus affording you exercise just sitting there panting in an office chair. One should actively seek out stress because, as is medically proven, the body needs exercise and what better way than exercise without physical exertion? Plus people pay you to be stressed so I say "Go with the flow!"

As prev mentioned today was a day fraught with exercise in the form of stress. First off, my tire on the right fore wheel was low. I did not pump it up at the gas station because I need my exercise even when driving to work. This afforded a golden opportunity for stress especially when the meth addict in the lane next to me decided to take an extended "trip" in a traffic lane that existed only in his diseased head, narrowly missing me as I pounded my foot down on the gas and waited for my lame front tire to take hold and get me out of the way. This is the equivalent of many Waist Watcher exercise points.
Secondly I went to the Trader Joe's only to find a lousy 2 boxes of my wheat-free, gluten-free, sugar-free frozen waffles? Geez! These will barely get me through the day. What about dinner?! (See? Stress!)Ironically in obtaining the waffles I burned off about 7 of them on the form of stress exercise points.
Another strategy is drinking far too much coffee. This is effective in 2 ways: First it induces stress and second it fills your tum with an overabundance of much desired acid which will keep you from eating anything but TUMS for the rest of the day. (2,2,2 diet secrets in one!)The TUMS themselves are of course, calorie free because they are neutralized by the coffee induced stomach acid. See? its nothing but win, win with me.
Ok so in summary, Diary, the food tip of the day is GET MORE STRESS! Drink far too much coffee and seek out cretins on the freeway who are likely to slam into you and result in even more weight loss while you recover from your coma and are eating through a tube (A known and proven weight loss method!) Go try it out! Happy Dieting!